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Top 10 Signs You Might Be A Zombie...
 Do
you ever wake up in the morning feeling like your mouth has been
stuffed with cotton all night?
Do you mumble, groan
and moan in low, tuneless tones? Do you walk to the bathroom feeling
totally disoriented, occassionally stumbling as you shuffle along? Do
you look into the bathroom mirror to find bloodshot eyes? Do you dread
looking out your kitchen window and seeing the morning sun? Does the
idea of raw bacon not naueseate you? Well, then maybe you'd better
take a moment and check your pulse... 'Cause there's a chance you just
might be a zombie. Here's how to tell for sure...
10.
You Might Be A
Zombie If... you wake up in the middle of the night with a craving
for the other white meat... unfortunately it is your next door
neighbor.
9.
You
Might Be A Zombie If... you notice someone has taken a bite out of
your best friend’s arm... and you find yourself looking around for the
salt and pepper shakers...
8.
You
Might Be A Zombie If... your idea of quality entertainment is
watching crowds of horrified people running away from you in terror...
7.
You
Might Be A Zombie If... two or more of your fingers fall off
during your weekly manicure...
6.
You
Might Be A Zombie If... you find yourself measuring your uncle’s
head and you’re not planning on buying him a hat...
5.
You
Might Be A Zombie If... the recent zombie outbreak results in a
bounty on zombies and your brother-in-law is loading his shotgun...
4.
You
Might Be A Zombie If... you spend every hour of daylight out in
the sun, but can never seem to get a tan...
3.
You
Might Be A Zombie If... sunlight makes your skin burn and boil.
Oh, sorry, guess you’re actually a vampire...
2.
You
Might Be A Zombie If... the Food Pyramid consists of only one
item...and they are sitting across the table from you...
1.
You Might Be A
Zombie If... your newest piece of jewelry is an axe sticking out
of your forehead...
Check out daily updates for You Might Be A Zombie If...
at http://twitter.com/YMBAZI .
Join in the fun and create your own!
Look for Stan Swanson's new book You Might
Be A Zombie If..., published by Dark Moon Books, early 2010.
This one will keep you in stitches... (And you might need them to keep
those body parts attached!) Includes great artwork from dozens of
fantastic artists. Don't miss it... And if you interested in creating
a cartoon for one of the pages in the upcoming book, send an e-mail to
StanSwan@aol.com for more
information. |
